


a miscalculation

by Kaatiba



Series: atla missing moments [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Agni Kai (Avatar), Angst, Azula has feelings, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Child Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gen, Missing Scene, One Shot, POV Azula (Avatar)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:14:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24879796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaatiba/pseuds/Kaatiba
Summary: Azula's POV of Zuko's first Agni Kai and subsequent banishment
Relationships: Azula & Ozai (Avatar), Azula & Ursa (Avatar), Azula & Zuko (Avatar), Iroh & Zuko (Avatar)
Series: atla missing moments [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1841065
Comments: 3
Kudos: 149





	a miscalculation

Azula watched Zuko’s arrogant stride falter as their father stalked forward across the stone stage. 

She couldn’t quite keep the smirk off her face. 

_Zuzu thinks he’s too good for everyone else? Thinks he can talk back to real commanders and take the moral high ground even though he’s just a boy and barely worthy of being called a “bender”?_

_Well, think again, Zuzu._

Azula had been furious when she’d heard about Iroh letting Zuko into the war council meeting. The old man’s favoritism was frustrating, but in the end it barely mattered since she knew she was the more talented one. 

_The sages said she was a prodigy_. She knew that if she played her cards right her gender and her birth order wouldn’t matter...she could get the throne she deserved that father obviously wanted her to have. 

_Father knows I’m the best_ , she thought. 

So she felt vindicated watching her father about to put Zuko in his place. She raised her fist in anticipation, a vicious gleam in her eye. 

Maybe with a little public humiliation Zuko would stop running around the palace like he owned the place, pulling sway with Uncle and all the stupid servants who wouldn’t look Azula in the eye anymore. 

“ _Please father, I am your loyal son! I never meant any disrespect!_ ”

Azula frowned, watching her brother kowtow.

It wouldn’t be proper humiliation if he didn’t at least try to put up a fight. He’d lose of course, but she knew Ozai would make it quick. Would only drag the dueling on long enough for the lesson to sink in.

Her father kept stalking towards Zuko, face stony. It unsettled her just a bit. 

“You will learn respect,” Ozai’s voice boomed, “and _suffering_ will be your teacher.”

Azula couldn’t peel her eyes away as her father brought his hand down to grasp Zuko’s left cheek. She saw the tendrils of smoke and then heard Zuko’s agonized cry.

She felt frozen. Her knuckles were white.

It seemed like he would never stop screaming, and it echoed all around the Agni Kai stadium. 

It only stopped when Zuko slumped over, boneless.

_Is he dead?!_ She thought wildly, turning to her Uncle beside her. He’d had his head turned away and when he met her eye she saw his gaze full of disgust.

She didn’t know whether it was leveled towards Ozai or her.

Her father left the stadium without another word, just leaving Zuko there like a piece of trash. 

_Surely he would never do that to_ **_me_ ** _..._

_I'm not Zuko. I’m not Zuko. I’m perfect. I won’t become that. I_ **_won’t_ ** _be Zuko._

She watched with a neutral face as several healers scurried forward and moved Zuko to a stretcher, rushing towards the palace infirmary. 

As he passed she saw a glimpse of the damage. It was her first time ever actually seeing a burn victim.

The flesh was truly mangled and ripe looking. She’d be shocked if he’d keep his eye or be able to feel that half of his face. 

_Her brother’s face would be marred forever. He'd bear the scar forever._

She didn’t know how she felt about that. He had inherited their mother’s lovely elegant features. 

She shifted back and forth as the crowd dispersed, already gossiping rabidly about what had happened. She didn’t know whether to follow or not. What would father expect her to do? 

She’d been planning on going to the infirmary after the Agni Kai to gloat to Zuko over his embarrassing defeat, but she’d expected him to be conscious. 

_I didn’t think he would go that far,_ a small part of her brain whispered.

But she’d known that Ozai had plotted to kill grandfather. He’d been ready to sacrifice Zuko.

_But this was different...wasn’t it?_

_Father would never treat me like Zuko._

_Because I’m different...right?_

She watched Iroh hurry towards the direction Zuko had been taken. She felt a twinge of bitterness. If mother were still here, she’d also be glued to Zuko’s bedside. The pair of them would probably shoo Azula out of the hospital wing to “protect” Zuko if she even bothered to visit him.

Then and there she made a promise to herself

_I’ll never let myself become Zuko. I’ll never give father reason to be disappointed in me too._

She turned and began walking into the palace, past the infirmary doors, and didn’t stop until she’d shut the door to her room.

She stayed there all night fighting the urge to go explore and sneak into the infirmary to get another peek at Zuko, to see if he was awake.

She didn’t look for anyone, and nobody came to her. 

Eventually she fell asleep where she’d been sitting on her windowsill and woke up in the same clothes to the first rays of the sun coming through the glass. 

Looking in the mirror, she scrubbed away all the traces of sleep and changed into fresh clothes. She put her hair up, every strand nearly in place.

_Perfection begins on the outside_ , she thought. 

_Zuko can never keep all his hair in his top knot, the dum dum._

She strolled down to the infirmary, making sure to keep her nose in the air and not look at any of the servants passing by. She strolled through the doors as lazily as possible, but stopped when she saw only empty beds.

“Where is he?” She demanded of the nearest healer who withered under her glare and flinched away like she’d attack him where he stood. _Honestly, these people_.

“Princess Azula, Prince Zuko has been hereby banished by royal decree of Firelord Ozai...we put basic salve and bandages on his..wound and then he was sent away.”

Banished? _Banished?_

He’s _gone_?

Her mind felt like a broken record.

“How? Where?” Her voice was shriller than intended.

“Uh, by boat, Your Highness, he and General Iroh were given command of a small crew in his quest to capture the Avatar?”

Azula let out a very humorless laugh. “What are you _talking_ about?” Her voice was cutting “the _Avatar_ has been dead for 100 years, you imbecile.”

The man shrugged helplessly. “The terms for his banishment were that he may only return with the Avatar.”

_He’ll never make it home. I’ll be the heir._

Whenever she’d imagined triumphing over Zuko for the claim to the throne, she’d always imagined how she’d lord it over him, how she’d taunt him and make him mad.

_Who was she supposed to brag to now?_

Azula turned around and walked straight back to her room. Then she walked to Zuko’s. It was empty.

Zuko was gone.

Uncle was gone.

Mother was gone.

_It was just her and her father._

_The only thing between her and a melted off face was her perfect fire bending._

She let out a scream of rage. _Zuko always ruins everything!_ She tore down the hanging above his bed and kicked over his writing desk.

Out of the drawer fell a scroll. She unraveled it to see an ink portrait of her mother.

Her throat got tight, so she lit the paper on fire and let it crumble to ash in her hands. 

That’s what Zuko had never understood. That there was no room for sentimentality in the palace, only _survival_ and _success_. 

She slammed the door to his room and didn’t look back. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My writing of Azula might be OOC to your taste. I honestly think she's such a hard to pin character that there's not really any wrong interpretations of her, but this one leans towards sympathetic. And is in part inspired by this video I stumbled on (https://youtu.be/r6PYulIKrN8) which touched on how Ozai's violence towards Zuko was also an implicit threat/deterrent against Azula acting out and how that'd shape her behavior going forward.


End file.
